Bonnie's space

I suffer from a disease that no one see; a disease that there is no cure for and that keeps my  medical physicians at  how to treat and battle this disease. FMS attacks are unbarable at times. My pain works silently,  and seems to always steal my joy and replace it with tears. I look the same as others on the outside, but You wont see my pain in the way you would a person going  through chemo for cancer, but My pain is just as real.  In many ways my pain may be more chronic because people can’t see it and do not understand...

Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS) is often called the "invisible disease." There is no known cure for Fibromyalgia, but there are ways to treat the symptoms, to improve that quality of life. FMS is a type of neurotransmitter disorder, in which the pain-signals that our brains receive are intensified, and our muscles do not get the healing nutrients they need. Whether it's emotional or physical, I need to alter my levels of  stress. Trying to identify the  areas of my stress and modify it where ever I can and if at all possible. I will give an  example: "what I'm doing right now!...typing at a keyboard, sitting and/or standing in one position for long periods of time, and continuous repetition of muscular movement."  Keeping my activity on an even level. If I do too much on your good days, then I may have more bad days. FMS deals directlywith muscles, and because my muscles don't repair themselves the way another person muscles do, it can  far more damage than good and could result in recovery time in days or weeks or months from a single activity.

My fibromyalgia (FMS) has flared-up over the past  two weeks and so I spent most of last weekend in bed or on the couch. The aches and pains?  It feels like you do when you have the flu, except I am not sick, but my muscles feel as if  have the flu . No one person can say that they enjoy having the flu. Well, that's how my body feels when I have a flare-up.  I recently had hand surgery, and having hand therapy three days a week, on top of my other medical appts, just going and going has ran my body down. Just because I am "getting out and doing things"  that I have to do. Does  it make me feel better?The answer is NO, and sometimes can make me worse. I have spent most of the last few days in considerable pain and exhaustion.  No one can be  that miserable all the time,  Right? Wrong, in fact I work hard at not being miserable. So when a person  is talking to me and I sound happy, it  only means I'm happy. It doesn't mean that I'm not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I'm getting better.

Sometimes  when i feel bad just like everyone else, I need help with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. But my children are grown and have their own lives to live, and I can't be a burden on them, so I do what needs to be done and what I can't finish just gets put on hold. Most of my "friends" are gone; even members of my own family have their own situations in life. I have been accused of "being lazy" for another’s sympathy. I have been forced to cancel plans I made at the last minute because the pain in my legs or in different areas of my body  is so intense at times, that I  miss out on yet another activity I used to love and once participated in. In the end I  am left in my tears to accept it and cope. 

As a FMS sufferer the remissions and flare-up of symptoms varies and can last for any period of time"days, weeks, months and, even years."  Depression, interrupted sleep patterns, changes in weather, physical and emotional stress, and other illnesses, can contribute to a flare-up of personal fibromyalgia symptoms. I become very frustrated because many times I'm not able to identify whats  triggering these flare-ups, leading to a feeling of lack of control over our health. So, I  can end up developing into a  cycle of depression, anxiety, and hopelessness.

My tears have been  shed many times when no one is around. FMS is not forgiving, just because I forgot to take mt medications, or had to cancel an appt., rather it is a pleasure one or not. Sometimes, I have to sit down or lie down or take my medications  at that moment , because if I don't, it just delays my pain process. Just because I'm out for the day, my cycle does not change.  I would like to thank my parents, a companion friend, and my daughter jennifer for being so understanding  and helpful.

In the end, I am just left with the hope of finding a cure. I am happy regardless of what was given to me to deal with, because i don't allow it to take away all my enjoyable moments in life. I am the same as the next person, except i live with a pain syndrome. I beleive no matter how many people who suffer  "FMS" and writes a  story, it all may be worded different, but after reading their story, it sounds just like my own story.

 Bonnie

The difference between Friendship Relationships and Affair Relationships:
Current mood: blah
Category: For Inquiring minds: Friends

Friendship Is A Journey, Not a Destination :

In Life, it doesn’t matter who you are, but whether someone appreciates you for what you are, accepts you and loves you unconditionally. A Real Friend  ( Friendship ) is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks away.

Friendship is more than just hanging out together at lunch and gossiping about other people. True friendship is when two people have mutual respect for one another, and really care about the each other’s feelings and dreams. You need to be able to be honest with your friends.

If there is ever a time where you feel that you can’t tell them the truth, for fear that they will be mad or won’t understand, then they aren’t true friends. Friends share with each other important things that they wouldn’t share with others. Friends also care about each other, stick up for one another and enjoy being their for each other.

Friendship relationships, DO NOT HAVE TO BE INGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY: ONE JUST ASSUMES IT HAS TO BE:

Their are standards and boundaires in a relationship, regardless if it’s the same sex or opposite sex that is envolved in that relationship. In relationships, people want to be understood, needed and want to know one cares for that person, for who they are or not what their not.

For Love Friendship distance cannot, and will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment, and love.

The Friendship in exchange is based on the principles of mutual respect, goodwill, acceptance and reciprocity and relies on honesty and maturity. 

In every corner and destination of the world Friendship is a simple form of meaning this:

You offer what you can, Share what you know, learn what you don’t! - That makes life more meaningful and rewarding.

Affair: an intimate or sexual relationship between people not committed to each other:

An affair is rarely nothing more than a sexual mistake. More times than not, it is a clear indication that the marriage is either in serious trouble or finished.

Sexual affairs and one-night-stands are usually short-term and rarely become love affairs or long-term friendships. People with opportunity and time People who want to fulfill a transference People who want to punish a partner or past partner People with unmet physical desires or emotional needs People who want to diminish the intensity or intimacy of a partnership.

Why? Because people neglect the three basic factors that make or break a relationship. Successful relationships "require romance to nurture and create passion and intimacy; sexuality to make each of you feel alive and uniquely bonded to each other, and communication to know each other well and trust each other enough to find out what’s really going on inside each of your heads,"

Emotional: People who feel unfulfilled in their marriages will seek outside relationships to fill emotional gaps that cannot be responded to in any other way. There is a fine line here between those who truly go without basic emotional needs being met by their partners and those who have an unrealistic view of relationships as they search for the perfect mate--the "Walk on the Water" syndrome. This type of an affair is the most difficult to overcome because it is actually based on two people bonding together in so many more ways than just having sex together.

Distrust: Trust is the foundation stone of every good relationship.

Communicate: Talk with and listen to each other. A relationship between two people precludes one or both being a "Silent Sam." There must be ongoing, regular mutual communication if the marriage is to remain satisfying to both.